You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
