she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
