You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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