You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Mom said you looked used
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
