I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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