census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
