I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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