btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
