Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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