i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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