Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
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Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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