isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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