This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
