Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
