We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
