His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
