No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
