people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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