I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
