Kiss
Puke
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
