AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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