i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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