I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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