I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
jump out the window naked night went bad
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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