Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
