We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
