So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
