There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
