Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
