Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
