I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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