hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
