Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
