This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
