Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
