I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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