You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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