Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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