That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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