What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
