after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
