Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
