Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
