Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
