Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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