It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
