I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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