There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
