Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
