Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize