im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
