Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
