no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
