I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
