that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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