Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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