I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i wish my penis had a tongue
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Randomize
