She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize