If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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