So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
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