It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
