Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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