Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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