you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
